60 Tips for a Happy Marriage

A happy marriage is just like a healthy plant. If you give the plant water, sun and air, it blossoms. A marriage requires an equal amount of nurturing if it is to blossom. As much as it is hard to accept, a nice wedding and the good intentions you have to stay together forever are not enough to produce a successful, happy marriage. The excitement and joy that newly-wed couples often experience tend to wear off within the first year of marriage and so, if you want to celebrate your 50th anniversary with your partner one day, you both need to make a conscious decision to "water" your relationship. To reach such as stage is a wonderful thing. The thought of reaching our 50th anniversary means more to me now than ever before, because my mom and dad just recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. I am so happy for them, and even more determined now to do the same.

When I coach couples on the verge of divorce, I find that generally, each individual is not happy within himself or herself and so their attempts to make each other happy are futile, because being happy as an individual is the first step.

As I have written many times on this blog, in newsletters and said in workshops, for any relationship to be happy, first each party must learn how to be happy individually.

flower

I recommend to all couples that come to me for coaching that they create and then share a list of 50 things that make each one of them happy. It is quite incredible to see just how surprised most of them are when they read their partner's list. Most times, many of the items on the list are simple, cheap and even free. Without fail, the reaction I always get is, "It is so easy to make my partner happy, if only I had known earlier…"

Life is much easier when you know the things that make you and your partner happy. Here is a list of 30 things husbands can do to make their wives happy and 30 things wives can do to make their husbands happy. Please remember, the list here is just a start. It is also a bit stereotypical, so feel free to swap items with your partner and do what works for you.
 

30 ways to keep her happy

woman smiling

1.       SMS her some love during the day.

2.       Help her fill in her 12-hugs-a-day tank with lots of hugs (and kisses).

3.       Cook dinner from time to time. Husbands who cook have happier marriages.

4.       Stay and help while cleaning up after meals. Many couples fight over cleaning up. If you do it together, it will take half the time, become part of your quality time and then leave more time for romance.

5.       Find a loving nickname for her.

6.       Say "I love you" when you meet and when you say good-bye.

7.       Mark special dates on your calendar. There are not that many dates to remember: mainly her birthday and your wedding anniversary. But if you really want to be a super husband, remember the date that you first became a couple.

8.       Take the kids out on your own from time to time to give her some space. It can be as simple as offering some time off on the weekend to allow her to sleep in a little bit longer, or as easy as organizing an evening out with the kids.

9.       When she is upset, listen to her but do not try to give advice (unless she asks for it).

10.   Tell her how much you love to touch and smell her.

11.   Invite her to a movie or a restaurant like you would have if you were dating.

12.   Write her love notes and put them in places where she would not expect to find them, like inside the laundry basket, on the mirror in the bathroom, inside her wallet or on the visor in her car.

13.   Shower the kids or read them a story. I have to say that having watched my husband doing these things for many years with our children makes me love him more and more everyday. It is such a simple, beautiful thing to see father and kids reading a story together, that it makes the entire family happy.

14.   Offer some technical help if she is struggling with remotes, computers or electrical wiring.

15.   Say something nice about her choice in clothes.

16.   Bring her flowers.

17.   Give her a massage.

18.   You are strong and manly. Take the garbage out.

19.   Bring home dinner from time to time as a surprise. Try not to do this if she has already prepared a dinner. It is always better to check first and make sure the dinner is not all ready yet.

20.   Tell her "I trust you to…" Any positive ending to this sentence works miracles in any relationship. Count how many times you say this phrase during your relationship and I am sure you will find it much easier to spend many happy years together.

21.   Give her a kiss for no reason. Kiss for the love of kissing. Kiss in the morning and remember to always, always, always kiss at night before you fall asleep, even (especially) if you have just had a fight.

22.   Stay cool when she is having a long phone conversation with her girlfriend, mom or sister. These phone calls are a way for her to work things out and get emotional support. They are good for you…

23.   Bring home a sexy movie from the video shop to watch together.

24.   Learn how to use the washing machine and use it without being asked.

25.   Go shopping with her if she asks you to. Consider this quality time. You can do the grocery shopping while you talk together about your plans and dreams.

26.   Clean the toilet from time to time.

27.   Bring her small gifts.

28.   Hold her hand even when there are people around. It is a public display of affection and this is important to her.

29.   Initiate weekends away.

30.   Keep a photo of her in your wallet.

30 ways to keep him happy

man smiling

1.       Give him some time to watch his favorite TV show (OK, shows).

2.       Invite his friends over for a BBQ.

3.       Tell him how much you love the way he touches you.

4.       Have dinner ready when he comes home from work. Add candles even if there are kids sitting at the table. It is good for them to watch mom and dad expressing their love.

5.       Call him during the day and whisper loving things into the phone.

6.       Offer him his favorite drink.

7.       Tell him how much you love him. Say "I love you" when you meet and when you say good-bye, even on the phone.

8.       Ask him about his day and listen.

9.       When you go shopping, ask him if he wants you to get him something.

10.   Do not tell him he is a baby when he is sick and has "man cold" (the kind of cold that, if you were to have, would make you feel a bit off, but could easily kill him…). Grown men need attention and being sick is their way of getting it when nothing else seems to work.

11.   Tell him he is right sometimes.

12.   Buy yourself a sexy outfit. It will make your husband very happy. You are actually buying it as a present for him, as he is the one who will ultimately take it off.

13.   Give him a massage.

14.   Tell him he smells good.

15.   Make him his favorite dish and remember to tell him that you chose the dish especially for him.

16.   Wash his car as a surprise (or get the kids to do it for a double bonus).

17.   If he is busy and has to miss a TV show that he likes, record it for him.

18.   Tell him how much you appreciate his efforts to come home early, to spend time with the kids, to help, etc.

19.   Ask him, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

20.   Go shopping with him if he wants you to.

21.   Get him his favorite after-shave before his old bottle runs out.

22.   Smile.

23.   Suggest from time to time that he go out with his friends.

24.   Keep his photo in your wallet.

25.   Make a genuine effort to get along with his mom.

26.   Put his trophies in a prominent place and proudly show them to visitors.

27.   Send him loving, suggestive emails.

28.   Tell him he is the best dad to your kids, more than you could ever ask for.

29.   Touch him from time to time. When he is busy, just walk up to him and run your fingers through his hair.

30.   Prepare his lunch box for the day.

As you can see, there are probably as many items that can be added to these lists as there are couples in the world. Each one of us has different desires and expectations of a relationship. It is easier to obtain your desired life if the other party also helps work to make the marriage a happy one. The longer the list of things you have that you can do to make your partner happy, the longer your marriage will be. These lists are just the beginning. Make your own lists and start making your marriage a happy and fulfilling one.

The Power of Prayer

Hiya! I ran across an interview conducted with me on the topic of prayer by journalist and writer Mandy de Waal in 2003. It's always fun re-reading a transcript of something like that a few years down the line. Thought you might find it to be of interest as well. Regards, Clive

Medical research is examining the power of prayer on healing with some astounding results that offer proof that prayer does help heal. But is there a place for prayer in business? Can spiritual appeals contribute to corporate growth? Journalist Mandy de Waal speaks to Clive Simpkins about the meeting of spirit and commerce. Simpkins is a marketing and communications strategist, and author of the "Concise Communicator" and "Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life", a book about personal, sustainable change and finding meaning and purpose in one's life. The work draws extensively on the author's twenty three year experience with his teacher, Swami Shivapadananda.

Mandy de Waal
(MdW) - What is prayer - what is your definition of prayer?
Clive Simpkins
(CS) - Prayer is a conversation with yourself or God - whatever your concept of Her, Him or It might be.

MdW - Why do people pray?
CS - Humans innately seek something beyond their mundane selves. So we pray to make 'contact' with whatever our concept of that is. We pray particularly when we're in trouble, want guidance, want to say 'thank you.'

MdW - Can one expect an outcome from prayer? Does prayer work - if so why?
CS - One can certainly expect an outcome from prayer. But it may not be the outcome you expect or want. Like a good parent, the universe or God (whatever your concept or Her or Him or It may be) will, I believe, give you what you need (which may be suffering for growth) and not what you want - which is usually the absence of suffering, hardship, trials and the like.

MdW - How does intent relate to prayer?
CS - Jesus said "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." So it's got to be a prayer that's very specific in its intention or desired outcome (effective). It needs to have intensity and yearning (fervent). Your motive needs to be pure, unselfish or 'good' (righteous). Then it has the concentration power to make it produce results. If it's unfocused, vague and not serious in intent, it won't generate the energy required for a result.

MdW - Is there a place for prayer in business?
CS - Emphatically! Business is part of our lives or a 'compartment' of our lives. What works after-hours works during working hours as well! Touching base with God or the Universe or the Higher Self a few times during the days makes us much nicer colleagues. It means we're not forgetting what's really important in life.

MdW - Do you say prayers for business reasons?
CS - Why ever not? If you pray for your child's exam success (provided the blighter has done the studying) there's no problem with an intention for a successful business.

MdW - What is the junction of spirit and business?
CS - There shouldn't be a junction! If they're seamless, they work best. There shouldn't be a separation between spirituality, prayer and any of the aspects of our lives. We should live in an integrated, congruent manner.

MdW - Are businesses becoming more spiritual or more conscious - if so why?
CS - Businesses are not 'things.' They're made up of people. People are without doubt becoming more conscious of the need for their spiritual component to permeate the workplace as well. This is not suppositional or anecdotal. I see it in the work I do all the time. People ask questions they would never have asked five years ago. And hey, a guy in a Sasolburg conference asked me to comment on reincarnation. You could have knocked me over with a feather!

prayer

                                                                                                  

How To Be Happy And Take Control Of Your Life

Many people seem to live like walking zombies �" breathing and moving but without energy and zest for life. If you think that you are in a perpetual state of fatigue, stress and bad mood, then you have to stop whatever it is you are doing and ponder for a few minutes what you have been doing all your life. Sometimes, little things, such as keeping a dull mood, can contribute to your lack of enthusiasm and love for life.

Here are some of the things you can do to put the zest back into your life:

1. Snooze Your Way To Happy Life

According to the National Sleep Foundation, over 75% of adults in the US experience insomnia or some type of sleep problems a few times a week. A lot of people sacrifice sleep in order to work more or have extended hours of fun; however, they are not aware that lack of sleep can cause many illnesses and conditions, including lethargy and listlessness.

If you want your life to be full and happy, you first need to give your body a chance to rest and re-energize. Some say that people need at least 8 hours of sleep in order to revitalize their mind and body.

2. Be Careful What You Feed Your Body

Most magazines and books on health that people have read tell about the importance of eating right. It seems, however, that in spite of this, many still do not pay attention to the food they eat nor to the right eating time.

The first thing you should remember is to eat a healthy breakfast that is composed of proteins like egg, some complex carbohydrates such as whole grain cereals or bread, and a small amount of fat. This type of breakfast will help keep your blood sugar levels stable for most of the day. It is important to note that very low or very high blood sugar levels could cause fatigue and mood swings. Furthermore, not being able to normalize the glucose level in your blood could result in serious diseases, including diabetes.
3. Just Carry What You Can Handle


Having overly busy schedules seem to be the norm these days. However, if you check most people's list of things to do, many will be most likely filled with unimportant and not-so important activities.

If you want to have energy, make sure that you balance your schedule and time well. It would also be wise to delegate some of the workload to other people. For example, if you are a working mom, you could ask some members of your family to help out with housework.
4. Bring In More Light


Believe it or not, more people feel depressed and down during autumn and winter. The reason behind this is that during these seasons, the daylight hours are greatly reduced in some parts of the world. This seasonal sadness is actually called SAD or seasonal affective disorder.

If you do not want to be affected by the SAD bug, make sure that your blood sugar is stable and you get exposed to sunlight regularly. Experts say that the body produces serotonin, a neurotransmitter responsible for happy mood and healthy energy, when exposed to natural light. However, if you cannot go outside and bask in the sunlight, you should expose yourself to a full-spectrum light at least two hours daily.
5. Eliminate Your Wastes


People who are constipated or have troubles eliminating their wastes usually are irritable and moody. If waste materials stay long inside the intestines, they are reabsorbed by the body. These toxins are responsible for allergies, and other conditions.

How To Succeed In Personal Development

Have you ever wished you were a better listener or had more patience? Personal development is a popular approach to self improvement. No matter what you choose to work on, personal development provides you with the right tools.


In this post you'll learn how to succeed in personal development so you can live your life to its fullest potential!


Changing Habits


It's helpful to remind oneself that habits take years and years to form, starting in early childhood and continuing throughout your life. When a habit has taken that long to root itself, it's only expected that it will take some time to undo it.


Therefore, patience is a vital tool to success in personal development. Don't let that discourage you though, since every step along the way is most rewarding.


Let's say someone close to you repeatedly brings up that you're not a good listener. It can be quite depressing or even painful to hear that about yourself since we want to be good and liked by others.


Or perhaps you've become aware of the shortcoming yourself, which is quite an insight. Self awareness is the most powerful personal development tools around.


Either way, you want to become a better listener...


In order to succeed, you need to give yourself a fair amount of time. I would say that a 1-3 month time frame is a good benchmark. Within which you should be able to observe some positive changes.


Daily Practice


Personal development provides the best results when you practice every day. Don't expect immediate perfection, rather value every little bit of progress.


As you work on yourself to improve your listening skills you will become aware of many new things about your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Which is what makes personal development so rewarding.


Daily practice leads to self awareness which is a precious gift and a key to lasting happiness. Cultivate awareness and use it wisely.


Finally, if you have friends that share your interest in personal development, share your experiences with each other. That's most empowering.


Good luck!

personal development

                                                       

10 Ways To Achieve Your Goals

Goal setting is easy. Achieving your goals is the challenge. Below are 10
techniques you can use to help you achieve your goals. Practice these goal setting techniques everyday and you just might be surprised how easy it becomes to accomplish your goals.

1. Dream great dreams and make them come true.Studies show that people who visualize "aggressively" are more successful at
achieving their goals. Visualize the end-result of your dream. What does it look like?
How will you feel when you get what you want? What color, size, shape, etc., it is?
You must be able to mentally visualize your goal as clear and concise as possible
then it is possible to achieve it. Keep it on your mind every day. In time your sub-
conscious will take over.

2. Believe that you can do it.

You must believe in yourself. If you do not then read positive thinking books. Take a
class at your community college that will enhance your skills. Surround yourself with
people who are winners and will encourage you. Many successful people accomplish
their goals even though in the beginning they didn't know everything needed to
succeed. They believed that they could do it and they did. When you get stuck or
have doubts push yourself to do it anyway one step at a time. Get a support partner
who is willing to be there for you when you have doubts.

achieve your goal

                                                           

4 Ways to Change Your Life and Your Business

change your life

                                                       
You have heard the old saying, “The more you do of what you are doing, the more you will get of what you’ve got.”

Your goal should be to make the current year the most productive and highest paid year so far, until the next year comes along. To achieve this goal, you are going to have to do something different from what you are doing today.

There are only four ways that you can change your life and your business. Here they are:

1. You can do more of certain things. What are the things that you should do more of? Obviously you should do more of the things that are working the very best for you already.

You should use more of the marketing and sales methods that are getting you face to face with the best customers, the ones that buy the most readily and who most appreciate the special features and benefits of your products and services.

It is amazing how many sales people lose track of their most effective selling methods, including networking on a regular basis with other sales professionals in your area, and start off doing something new, different and unproven. Then they are surprised when their sales drop and their income declines. Sometimes, the very best thing you can do is to get back to doing what is already working the very best for you.

2. You can do less of other things. Many people fall into a comfort zone of doing things that are not working particularly well, but because they are comfortable doing them, they continue doing them nonetheless.

You only have so many minutes and hours each day. If you spend your time doing things of low value, that time is no longer available to you to do things of higher value. You must be continually thinking about the value of your time, every minute of every day. You should do less and less of those things that are giving you few results, so that you have more time to do more of those things that are giving you better results.

The Power of Positive Self-Talk

by Brian Tracy

Perhaps the most powerful influence on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself, and believe. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts and felling and, ultimately, your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or “self-talk,” you can begin to assert control over every other dimension of your life.

Your self-talk, the words that you use to describe what is happening to you, and to discuss how you feel about external events, determines the quality and tone of your emotional life. When you see things positively and constructively and look for the good in each situation and each person, you have a tendency to remain naturally positive and optimistic. Since the quality of your life is determined by how you feel, moment to moment, one of your most important goals should be to use every psychological technique available to keep yourself thinking about what you want and to keep your mind off of what you don’t want, or what you fear.

Arnold Toynbee, the historian, developed what he called the “challenge-response theory” of history. In studying the rise and fall of 20 major world civilizations, Toynbee concluded that each civilization started out as a small group of people – as a village, as a tribe or in the case of the Mongol empire, as just three people who had survived the destruction of their small community. Toynbee concluded that each of these small groups faced external challenges, such as hostile tribes. In order to survive, much less thrive, these small groups had to reorganize themselves to deal positively and constructively with these challenges.

By meeting each of these challenges successfully, the village or tribe would grow. Even greater challenges would be triggered as a result. And if this group of people continued to meet each challenge by drawing upon its resources and winning out, it would continue to grow until ultimately it became a nation-state and then a civilization covering a large geographical area.

Toynbee looked at the 21 great civilizations of human history, ending with the American civilization, and concluded that these civilizations began to decline and fall apart when their citizens and leaders lost the will or ability to rise to the inevitable external challenges occasioned by their very size and power.

Toynbee’s theory of civilizations can be applicable to our life as well.

You are continually faced with challenges and difficulties, with problems and disappointments, with temporary setbacks and defeats. They are an unavoidable and inevitable part of being human. But, as you draw upon your resources to respond effectively to each challenge, you grow and become a stronger and better person. In fact, without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you needed to know and developed the qualities of your character to where they are today.

Much of your ability to succeed comes from the way you deal with life. One of the characteristics of superior men and women is that they recognize the inevitability of temporary disappointments and defeats, and they accept them as a normal and natural part of life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when problems come, superior people learn from them, rise above the, and continue onward in the direction of their dreams.

Dr. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania has written a fascinating book based on his 25 years of research into this subject. It’s titled Learned Optimism. In this book, Dr. Seligman explains the basic response patterns of both positive and negative people. As a result of his many years of work in cognitive therapy, and the use of exhaustive testing, he finds, quite simply, that optimistic people tend to interpret events in such a way that they keep their minds positive and their emotions under control.

Optimists develop the habit of talking to themselves in constructive ways. Whenever they experience an adversity, they immediately describe it to themselves in such a way that it loses its ability to trigger negative emotions and feelings of helplessness.

Dr. Seligman says that are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The optimist sees an unfortunate event, such as an order that falls through or a sales call that fails, as a temporary event, something that is limited in time and that has no real impact on the future. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees negative events as permanent, as part of life and destiny.

For example, let’s say that the optimistic salesperson makes 10 calls on likely prospects, and every one of those calls is unsuccessful. The optimist simply interprets this as a temporary event and a matter of averages or probabilities. The optimist concludes that, with every temporary failure, he is moving closer to the prospect who will turn into a sale. The optimist dismisses the event and goes on cheerfully to the 11th and 12th prospects.

The pessimist sees the same situation differently. The pessimist has a tendency to conclude that 10 unsuccessful sales calls is an indication that the economy is terrible and that there is no market for his product. The pessimist generalizes and begins to see the situation and his career as hopeless. While the optimist just shrugs it off and gets on with the next call, the pessimist becomes discouraged and loses heart and enthusiasm for the hard work of prospecting.

The second difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that the optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive. This means that when things go wrong for the optimist, he looks at the event as an isolated incident largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his life.

power of positive thinking

 

Transforming Bad Habits

brian tracy

                                                            

by Brian Tracy 
Your habits have been developed from early childhood as the result of things that you have chosen to do, or not to do. Your entire life is the result of your past choices and decisions. And like all of us, you probably have some bad habits that have held you back from your true potential. But here’s the good news: Since you are always free to choose, you can make new choices and decisions today that will determine what happens to you in the future.

One of your main objectives in life is to develop new habits and make them your masters, while at the same time overriding and setting aside old habits that may be interfering with your progress. You have two major types of habits. You have habits that revolve around your desires and you have habits that revolve around your fears. The habits that revolve around your desires for health, happiness, financial independence, and success are life-enhancing. They are the habits that have brought you the success you enjoy today. The habits that revolve around your fears, on the other hand, act as brakes on your potential. They hold you back. They interfere with your success. They trip you up on a regular basis. They cause you to sell yourself short and settle for far less than your potential.

Dr. Martin Seligman, in his book, Learned Optimism, wrote about the chief psychological phenomenon of modern life. He called it “learned helplessness.” Based on his 25 years of research, he discovered that virtually every person has one or more areas where they feel helpless and unable to do something that they really want to do.

Seligman’s research demonstrated how animals can be trained to feel that they are helpless. In one example, he put a dog into a cage with a glass wall in the middle that separated the dog from a bowl of food. The dog was hungry and tried to get at the food but kept banging his nose on the glass. After several hours, Seligman removed the glass. And what happened then? The dog, who was still hungry, sat only a few inches away from the food and never even attempted to eat it. The dog had learned to feel helpless. The had become so convinced that he was incapable of getting to the food that even when the obstacles were removed, he just sat there with his stomach growling.

There are dozens of experiments like this. In every case, it is clear that animals, and human beings for that matter, learn to feel helpless. They develop habits of thought that hold them back from reaching their full potential.

If someone were to tell you that you could learn to type 30, 40, or 50 words per minute by taking a typing course and practicing an hour each day for the next few months, you would shrug your shoulders and say, “Of course!” Everybody knows that you can acquire a particular physical skill by learning how it is done and then repeating it over and over again until it becomes automatic.

But when it comes to mental habit patterns, most people are a little baffled. They don’t realize that you can learn mental habit patterns by following exactly the same process that you would use to learn physical habit patterns. And mental habit patterns will have a far greater impact on your life and happiness than any physical habit pattern ever could.

Once you have recognized the old, negative habit patterns that do not serve your purposes, you can determine what new habit patterns you would like to adopt. Begin this process by looking around and determining the people that you admire the most, both living and dead. Ask yourself: What qualities do they have? Which of their characteristics do you most wish to have for yourself? Then make a plan to incorporate those ideal habits into your own character and personality.

You know that you can shape a piece of clay into any desired form. You can also shape your own character and personality by simply deciding to do so. I won’t say that it is easy. Changing your beliefs and attitudes about yourself is one of the most difficult undertakings you will ever face. But it is definitely possible and achievable if you dedicate the necessary time and effort.

How long does it take to develop a new habit pattern? It depends on how complex the habit pattern is. You can develop a simple habit pattern in 14 to 21 days. For example, if you want to begin getting up half an hour earlier so that you can plan and organize your day, it might take just two to three weeks to develop the habit. If you want to develop a new habit pattern of behavior that does deeper into your character, it might take several months or even a year or more. The most important point is that, no matter how long it takes, the end result is achievable if you are really determined.

The habits of success have been studied by the great thinkers and philosophers for at least 2,500 years. After personally studying the subject for more than 30 years, I have found that the very best people have the very best habits. Based on these findings, I have identified seven habits that you need to develop if you want to perform at your very maximum in everything you do.

The first is goal orientation. You need to become a habitual goal setter, and dedicate yourself to working from clear, written goals every day of your life.

The second habit you need to develop for success is result orientation. Result orientation is made up of two practices. The first is the practice of continuously learning so that you become better at what you do. The second practice is that of time management, which means setting very clear priorities on what you do and then concentrating single-mindedly on the most valuable use of your time.

The third major habit you need to develop is that of action orientation. This is really the most important habit for material success. It is the ability to get on with the job and get it done fast. Fast tempo in whatever you do is essential to your success. You need to overcome procrastination, push aside your fears and launch 100% toward the achievement of your most important goals. The fourth habit you need is people orientation. This is your decision to cultivate within yourself the habits of patience, kindness, compassion, and understanding. Virtually all of your happiness in life will come from your ability to get along well with other people. And getting along well with other people is based on a set of habits that you have learned, or failed to learn, from childhood. But it is never too late to become a wonderful human being in your relationships with other. The more you practice being a truly excellent person in your relationship with others, the more you will internalize those qualities and actually become that person.

The fifth habit you need for great success is health orientation. This means that you must make a conscious effort to eat the right foods in the right proportions. You must exercise on a regular basis, continually using every muscle and joint of your body to keep it young and fit. And finally, you must have regular habits of rest and recreation that will enable you, in combination with diet and exercise, to live a long, full life. Remember, your health is the single most important thing you have, and it is completely dependent upon the habits you develop with regard to the way you live.

The sixth habit is an orientation toward honesty and integrity. In the final analysis, the character you develop as you go through life is more important than virtually anything else. Honesty means that you practice the “reality principle” in everything you do. You are completely objective with yourself and with the world around you. You set very clear values for yourself and you organize your life around your values. You develop a vision for yourself and then you life your life consistent with your highest ideals. You never compromise your integrity or peace of mind for anyone or anything. This attitude of honesty will enable you to enjoy all of the other success habits that you are developing.

The seventh habit, the one habit that guarantees all the others, is that of self-discipline. Your ability to discipline yourself, to master yourself, to control yourself, goes hand in hand with success in every area of life.

My favorite definition of self-discipline comes from Elbert Hubbard. He said, “Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.” Every one of these habits, goal orientation, result orientation, action orientation, people orientation, health orientation, honesty, and self-discipline¾can be developed. The following is a seven step method you can use to internalize any habit or group of habits that you want to make a permanent part of your character and personality.

1. Decide clearly on the new habit. Write it down as a goal in the form of a present tense, personal, positive affirmation. For example, if you want to develop the habit of self-discipline, you write, “I am an extremely well-disciplined individual in everything I do.”

2. Repeat your affirmation as often as possible, and with as much enthusiasm and conviction as possible. The more times you repeat this command, the more likely it is that your subconscious mind will ultimately accept it and begin to adjust your thoughts, words, and behaviors to be consistent with it.

3. Visualize yourself as if you already had the new habit pattern. Imagine yourself as already being exactly the person that you want to become in the future. Remember, your subconscious mind is activated and programmed by mental pictures. All improvement in your life and character begin with an improvement in your mental pictures. Use visualization on a regular basis in conjunction with your positive affirmations.

A Balanced Life

by brian tracy
 According to psychologist Sidney Jourard, fully 85 percent of your happiness in life will come from your personal relationships. Your interactions and the time that you spend with the people you care about will be the major source of the pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction that you derive daily. The other 15 percent of your happiness will come from your accomplishments. Unfortunately, many people lose sight of what is truly important, and they allow the tail to wag the dog. They sacrifice their relationships, their major source of happiness, to accomplish more in their careers. But one’s career, at best, can be only a minor source and a temporary one, at that of the happiness and satisfaction that everyone wants.

There is no perfect answer to the key question of how to achieve balance in our lives, but there are a number of ideas that can help you to be and have and do more in the areas that are important to you. These ideas often require changes and modifications in the way you think and use your time, but the price is well worth it. You will find that by reorganizing your life in little ways, you can create an existence that gives you the highest quality and quantity of satisfaction overall. And this must be your guiding purpose. The ancient Greeks had two famous sayings: “Man, know thyself” and “Moderation in all things.” Taken together, those two ideas are a good starting point for achieving the balance that you desire. With regard to knowing thyself, it is very important to give some serious thought to what you really value in life. All trade-offs and choices are based on your values, and all stress and unhappiness come from believing and valuing one thing and, yet, finding yourself doing another. Only when your values and your activities are congruent do you feel happy and at peace with yourself.

So knowing yourself means knowing what you really value, knowing what is really important to you. The superior man or woman decides what is right before he or she decides what is possible. The advanced human being organizes his or her life to assure that everything that he or she is doing is consistent with his or her true values. It is essential for you to organize your life around yourself, rather than to organize yourself around the demands of your external world.

The second quote, “Moderation in all things,” is a wonderful and important dictate for successful living. But, at the same time, you know that you can’t really be successful in any area by being moderate in that area. Peter Drucker once wrote, “Wherever you find something getting done, you find a monomaniac with a mission.” You know that single-minded concentration on a goal or objective is absolutely necessary for achievement of any kind in a competitive society.

So what’s the solution? Over the years, I have worked with tens of thousands of men and women who have spent a lot of time and effort struggling to achieve balance in their lives. I have found that there is a simple formula; it is simple in that it is easy to explain, but you need tremendous self-discipline and persistence to implement it in your life.

The formula revolves around a concept of time management, or what you might want to call life management. Time management is really a form of personal management in which you organize your 24 hours a day in such a way that they give you the greatest possible return of happiness and contentment.

The key to time management, after you have determined your values and the goals that are in harmony with those values, is to set both priorities and posteriorities. The importance of setting priorities is obvious. You make a list of all the things that you can possibly do and then select from that list the things that are most important to you based on everything you know about yourself, about others and about your responsibilities. The setting of posteriorities is often overlooked. It is when you carefully decide which things you are going to stop doing so that you will have enough time to start doing something else.

a balanced life

 

                                                    

Dramatic video of warplane going down in flames, exploding on ground in ...

The 11 Keys to Success

By Julie Jansen,

Author of “I Don’t Know What I Want, But I Know It’s Not This”

In his best-selling book “Emotional Intelligence,” Daniel Goleman writes, “There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ predicts success … at best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces.”

Goleman goes on to explain, “These other characteristics are called emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope.”

This book is full of assessments, tools, resources and how-tos to help guide you in finding new work that will better meet your personal and financial needs. No matter which category you fit in, however, unless you are able to demonstrate and master a specific set of life skills and traits, you will find it difficult to find the work you want.

Observing people in the workplace has yielded 11 keys to success. Time and again, it is apparent that those individuals who exhibit these 11 keys and use them most productively are consistently the most successful and well-liked individuals overall. The good news is that most people are born with at least some of these keys or learned them at a very young age, and all of these keys can be developed or learned later in life.

success

                                                             

Wisdom of The Ages 60 Days to Enlightenment

                                               Written and Read By : Wayne W Dyer

Wisdom of The Ages
60 Days to Enlightenment

Written and Read By :
Wayne W Dyer

Publisher: HarperCollins
Time : 75 Minute

Amazon.com Review
Wisdom of the Ages reads like a workshop on "What the Masters can Teach You." Author Wayne Dyer offers wisdom taught by the world's "great teachers" (such as Buddha, Jesus, Confucius, Michelangelo, and Emily Dickinson) and then provides an easy-to-digest interpretation for modern readers. The book is formatted into daily, quoted passages (around a page in length) from 60 of these teachers--the "60 Days to Enlightenment" in the book's title. After each quote, Dyer offers his own thoughts on how the "lesson" can be applied to contemporary life. After his essay, the author includes a list of exercises to put the teacher's advice to use. Each passage includes a heading--"Soulcenter" for a quote from Herman Melville's Moby Dick, or "Communication" for William Blake's poem "A Poison Tree," for example. While his tone is always reverent, Dyer's interpretations occasionally sound flat and obvious--as if he is dumbing down the language for his audience, rather than elevating readers to a higher consciousness (or at least a higher education). This is a shame, because when Dyer writes with the eloquent and enthusiastic voice that earned him his huge popularity--glimpses of that voice do appear in this book--one sees why so many consider him a "master teacher" in his own right. --Gail Hudson
                                                    

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How to Get What You Want By : Zig Ziglar

                                                                           

                                                                   

Live Seminar
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
ISBN-10: 0743537262
Description:
Irrepressible, enlightening -- and extraordinarily successful -- here's Zig Ziglar presented live during one of his electrifying public seminars. This master motivator has adapted his proven techniques for everyone's use -- and endless benefit.

Runtime : 61 minute

                                                                DOWNLOAD 

10 lessons from Tony Robbins

anthony robbins

                                                               

Tony Robbins has been an inspiration for millions. Here are 10 lessons from Tony Robbins:

1) By altering your body's physiology,
you can achieve an immediate change of your emotional state. The mind will follow whatever state your phsyical body is in and not vice-versa.
2) Ask specific questions of yourself
(in your self-talk) to direct and control your attention to the various aspects of the human experience. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions you ask of yourself.
3) Get leverage to create personal change
by associating an old behavior with massive pain and the desired new behavior with massive pleasure. Tony is a big believer in the pain/pleasure principles of life and this applies in business as well.
4) When you get stuck, interupt your limiting pattern
by doing something totally unexpected.
5) You can condition your behavior by visualizing it over and over again.
This is not exactly unique to Tony Robbins, but he does reinforce this message in all of his products.
6) Goal-setting strategy:
Know your end outcome; Take massive intelligent action; Have sensory-acuity to notice if you are getting the results you desire and if not; change your approach; and change *until* you get your end outcome.
7) Create a "Compelling future"
by vividly imagining your end result to generate enthusiasm and power within yourself. The past does not equal the future. Find beliefs that support your goals and desires.
8) Youth is Power!
This is one of Tony's beliefs. Even if you don't have fancy degrees, your youth can still mean power, flexibility and opportunity for your life.
9) Principles of CANI!
CANI stands for Constant And Never-ending Improvement. It's a basic tenet of Tony Robbins.

10) NLP can be useful. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and there are many NLP undertones in Tony's basic tenets. He went on to morph NLP into his own technology called "NAC" (Neuro Associative Conditioning).